Monday, May 30, 2011

3. more maine

I had a life. A nice, perfectly fine life. And just like that, through no fault of mine, I don’t. It’s like everything I counted on was just an illusion. It was so easily destroyed. Things changed too fast for me to cope with.

I called Colin back and talked him out of driving up here. I promised to come home right away. Well, tomorrow. Jeremy has been calling my cell and he’s leaving these long, chatty voicemail messages about his film project and how his day went and how he can’t wait to see me again, just as if we had a nice, normal relationship other than kidnapper and victim!

The nightmare time I spent being held at his apartment would seem like I just imagined it, except for one thing…Jeremy keeps trying to contact me. I don’t even know this psycho and he keeps acting like we are in love!! I really don’t know what this guy is capable of. He kept a girl he didn’t even know in his apartment for almost 2 days. I guess about a day and a half, really, but still… I shouldn’t be worried about what could happen to him. He needs help. From mental health professionals, not from me. Christ, I probably need help. I am definitely not acting rationally.

I really don’t want to go home. But I have to face things and figure out what I’m going to do. Make a decision. Do what I have to do to try and get my life back. But the consequences terrify me. I know I should call the police. I know I need to tell Colin. Somehow I just keep on not doing what I should do.

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