Jeremy continues to call and email. I look out the window through the cracks in the blinds so I can’t be seen. I haven’t seen him outside, but I know he must be out there, at least from time to time. I’ve thought about what to do, way too much, and I don’t think I can’t bash Jeremy’s head in, even though I really, really want to. In fact I feel a little ill from thinking about it so much and trying to psyche myself up to do it. Not a good sign. But I can hurt him. I can destroy his film.
I think that would be enough to convince him that I hate him. My plan goes like this… I go to Jeremy’s apartment with an axe. He lets me in. I ask for some water to get him out of the room. The final edit of his film is in the living room. That’s where he keeps it. I take out the axe and chop it to pieces. He couldn’t do anything to me while I have an axe in my hands, so I’d just tell him to leave me alone once and for all and I’d leave. He’ll be so traumatized over the loss of his film that he can’t possibly still want anything to do with me. I figure if I act as crazy as he is, he’ll finally get the message. And hopefully be scared of me.
I went to the hardware store today. In disguise. Which was ridiculous. Wearing a raincoat and hat on a sunny day in July gets you some strange looks. After looking around for something that looked pretty destructive I settled on a hatchet. I brought it home and put it in a messenger bag and hid it in the back of the closet.