Colin and I went to the park with a picnic lunch yesterday for the 4th. The whole park was filled with happy people, celebrating. I tried to act like everyone else, but I’m living in a dark world. My world is touched by darkness. Colin and I played Frisbee for a while and once when I was chasing the Frisbee I saw Jeremy sitting on a bench down the path a bit. Watching me. Watching me with Colin. I wasn’t even surprised. Everywhere I go now, I just assume he’s probably around somewhere. Not that I go anywhere much. I’m still a prisoner. I want my life back so bad.
After I saw jeremy I told Colin my stomach hurt and I wanted to go home. That much was true. I couldn’t even sleep last night.
I took out the hatchet and practiced some chopping on a piece of wood I fished out of a dumpster down the street and brought home. I took it into the bathroom. I tore it up pretty good. Pieces of wood were everywhere. I cleaned them up before Colin got home. And I sharpened the hatchet and put it back in the messenger bag.