Wednesday, June 22, 2011

15. decided

Jeremy has been calling and emailing non-stop. Even all night long. I blocked his regular email address so he started using several others under fake names. I keep the phone muted and just check the voice mail and recent calls for clients. I silenced the ringer on the house phone. I said I wanted some quiet.

Colin has to have noticed something is going on. Colin has some tough classes right now so he has been studying hard, lately. He’s got a stack of books to get through and a paper to write. So he’s distracted but I’m sure he’s noticed. He hasn’t said anything about it. He must still trust me and believe I’ll tell him everything eventually. He believes in me. He believes I’ll do the right thing. Will I? What is the right thing?

I may have come up with an idea. I’ve spent days trying to convince myself that I can do what needs to be done. If I’m cornered I can strike. And I’m cornered. I have to take my life back. Because I can’t stand living like this any more.

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